Bummed. I knew mummy wasn't happy yesterday so i thought getting up early(-er) than usual would make her more happy; and it did! =DD Yay~
It was an easy dish eh mummy?~ Chinese dish. Keep guessing what this is xP Glutinous rice - shitake mushroom, chicken pieces and pacific clams were marinated in dark soy sauce and oyster sauce. Kesian mummy though... Hers is the one in the biggest bowl but it's white =( because she can't have any sauce in it...
Haha.. Last of them two were just spam =P They're better known as my breakfast... A nice warm cuppa coffee and about 3 slices of butter cake-desu.
And so the pictures are all scrambled from the original ones i have placed >_> never mind... But hope you enjoyed them~ I DID! yum yum <3
I'm sad. Really really sad. For almost the past few weeks. I want to cry. But something really is stopping me from crying. If there was only something i could do to change all these thoughts.
Why must you fight with her? Just let it be... I'm hurt just looking at all of you. Please stop what you're doing. She's your mother. Just listen to her and sacrifice this very time for everyone's sake. She loves you and wants you to learn although she might have already used wrong words, but it was because she loved you so... Please stop...
Don't blame her for what has happened. Look at yourself then reanalyze and see what went wrong. It hurts to see you this way crying back at me... Please stop... Because i know how she feels as well.
Why is this happening? What can i do to change this? I failed this once and i will not do it again. I had to fork out a lump sum of cash just to redo this paper and it kills, so much just to see it out of my pocket though my whole family is coming along. The only thing that stopped us from going the last time was because of the accident months back that scarred us for our lives; please don't come back. It hurts to see you bleed.
I won't be earning much this time around. She's usually at the seat and won't be leaving much till the time comes again; but i'll be there every thursday.
Choices. Dilemmas. Ethical dilemmas. No i couldn't run from any. Sometimes i do wish i closed my eyes and choose that easily. When there was only a time i'd love to get to know you better, i get hints of ignorance and gentle nudges of i'm-not-interested-so-stop-wasting0your-time. It is true that i scare guys away that easily? Especially when they don't like me? Honestly, i miss so many things i have been getting for the past 2 years and being how i am now suddenly is like a change of weather and i can't seem to really cope with it. Sure, i get on with everything day after day but when i sit and just try to think, there's a cloud above my head almost instantly. Doesn't help. What is the objective of praising someone, being in their contact list and then just ignoring them? I still can't get it -> "For decoration purposes only". I think it's best that i stay still for the time being and pretend i'm not around.
"When you know you get that feeling again, hug your favvy plushie super tight," I was reminded; and it only works every once and a while.
I'd call myself, unappreciative of what i have to do and what i have. It kills.
I miss you so much. So much i feel like dying sometimes. I wish you were here. There's so many things in this world i feel like sharing with you; in fear if you would sit and listen to what i have to say even when you already have things that is occupying your mind now. Where are you the one that i love so... I sense your presence near... Oh how obsessed i am with your love! The stinging i can feel in my flesh every time i see people who are together in a pair. How i despise that bitter taste on my tongue. Where are you? I only see you when my eyes are closed... Please don't leave me...
I'm afraid. To touch the mirror once again.
Night bloggie. Too much in my head but i'm still alive. I'll make sure i still breath. Till then, i'll keep updating. Love you lots. And why aren't i busy enough to keep myself occupied??!! (that's the craziest thing anyone wants >_>)
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Dear bloggie,
Hope you're doing ok there. Coz i'm not.
Remember that date? The one you tried remembering most but you can't? Remember that moment? The one you can't recall but see flashes instead? Remember that sight? The one you close your eyes and touch it but fades away?
Remember when you wanted to help someone so much, you run to them, fall on the way, curse at yourself and scar their life by being slower and late?
Ok just kidding. I have loads of girls who're going the wrong way now and for some reason, i wish i was joining them as well. Then again... I'd be loosing the part of my own fun! I'll let my genitals choose.
"Should i be posting these pictures of me up?"
"Yes. No."
"Hmm..."
"Yes" "No" "Yes" "No"
"I take that as a yes and no. No i'm not showing off for crying out loud. I just like sharing what i manage to work out with. What do you think?"
"Hm..."
And so i thought it wouldn't look special with that load of comments of - you could pull it off and not everyone can! Gosh, i just hope no load of muslim or malay guys will be after me. Thats mostly my fear now... But honestly, i had fun doing experiments with my eyes (no i RARELY color my face meaning no blush, face powder nothing. Don't intend to clog up more pores).
Yay i have mehandi on my hand again~ And this time, you can guess what kinda make up i'll be experimenting on =P Seriously, it's fun stuff! Need to get a few more indian bangles for some ching-a-ling~
Yesterday at work was pretty, not pleasant... Imagine kids running around SCREAMING and ignoring you, "Please stop yelling and screaming. We don't need the whole building to hear you," = SCREAMS LOUDED. And it didn't help when there was thing indian boy who was superman standing on the couch's seat rest leaning on the wall... "You'll fall, get down from there!" = "*cricket cricket*" What the... THEN he dragged a chair to press the button to unlock the door and i went, "WAIT NO! *tries to grab kid from going so and he was trying to get off and i was trying to hold him and he fell*" ... The other kids went, serves him right! It'll teach him a lesson! *rolls eyes*
Life oh life~
Feels like nothing much to update today though. Other than pontenging my work at college but harder at hog~ I'd love to post out more pictures though if i can find them~
OH YES! A strawberry gift from my colleague~ The HOD went for their comapny trip and she was like, "since you love strawberries s much, this is for you~" Thanks kak!~ x33
Cute eh? I don't know what my cammie did to the picture that makes it look more like a ladybug >_>
And if there were more candles thick enough for the living room... I'd pile them everywhere! Thank god mum doesn't mind~ The craziest thing that happened is that, i'm already starting to shop for chirstmas! Though it is my favvy other than CNY ngehehe...
Okies i'mm leaving now since i'm only updating the unnecessary... Take care bloggie! I'll be updating on HOG pretty soon since they'll be shifting out pretty soon now!
Honestly at first, i had such a strong feeling to update a new blog but didn't know what to update on. Then i realized that there're always a million and one things to just pop up. The pop sure is good enough to make me laugh alone in the car like a mad person.
Remember those good days with your cousins just bumming around and teasing each other just to make us (yes everyone even ourselves) laugh? Been roughly two weeks from all those laughter though. Sure was fun. The best part was lunch at Mcd and a trip to Red's place. It was so hilarious how the Tetris theme song would just come back... Seriously, we couldn't stop laughing. It all started when... I forced them (in a way), more like pestered to play the Sega console. THAT has been seriously ages. Back to the first Sonic in Sega, Jewels or another form of Tetris, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and a whole bunch more.
Red seriously is a very good Jewel player and his level went all the way up to 38 and it could keep going. I keep dying thanks to JH and BluRR! Those two very useless buggers! It was proven that JH was high on drugs from Mcd and kept humming and singing the Tetris theme song!
To JH ->
Talk about being annoying =3
Work is actually pretty great. HOG is such a peaceful place but there're times you just feel like wrapping your hands around their tiny necks and... NO! Not strangle them! Just shake the living life outta them to let them understand you.
Roshan's 9 and his sister is 7. He was bored and was hanging out with Tracy and me in the office and i asked him, "so, why are you here roshan?"
"Oh' i'm waiting for my sister,"
"I see.. Is she your elder sister or younger sister?"
"Uhhh....?" Okay so obviously he didn't get what i mean.
"I mean, are you bigger or is she bigger?"
"Oh. She's bigger,"
"How old is she roshan?"
"7,"
"How can she be bigger then? O_o"
"She is *hands together then moves apart to show her body in size >_>*"
"THAT bigger! xD" Oh lol~ What he thought was bigger in size! How cute! He was a darling really. Very sweet indian boy who loves sharing his stories with me.
Tracy and her sister has each a Nintendo DS lite. . . . . I have no comment <- jealousssssssssss
The best part was, since she was 10 and i was looking at the thermometer, then told them how the thing actually works. To my surprise, they were actually paying attention! Though everything they were listening to might just be "ASDHN E fam;sjdio;aw fhaahwal nhfial nflaijwpqppwioureuion mgmdnnswhap mkkdskllqwqeruuvixopx naniosijfa. Dwoqkwk jhjvuuwopqn mnuix mnwd dkjj 9oawjfmnlwann j jlnsalas. Okay? Understsand now?"
College-o is fine too. Been working all day from like 9 to 6 when i get in. No 1 hour 2 hour business anymore~ All the MQA thingy sure is annoying. Thanks students! You are such great help! =DD (NOT!).
So far, life's been pretty up and down since i've been stressing out on my college and movie making is just so horrible, not helping the english papers... I have nothing else to say about it. Seriously. 500 bucks ppl. 5-0-0 ringgit!! I was about to burst into tears for bad (good).
Thats all the updates i have for now and before i end tonight, to the one who knows and is reading this, i'm very proud and happy for you. I'm not sure why but it's a great accomplishment and i share your happiness if you think i don't. I was so happy when you told me about what happened and seriously, i'm really proud of you. Congratulations and do your best to preserve it as long as you can. Listen to her, love her and understand her. And don't teach me what to do young man! ^_^
Night bloggie. Love you lots, take care and i'll update soon! I'll keep you busy with these pictures from Petawawa Canada with love.
Truthfully, i have entirely no idea what to flood here; haven't been updating anywhere either. Devil's Kiss is hanging half way again like always... That poor place. I wish i can visit it once more... Sis and dad went out last night; and came back with 3 miserable durians~ Tiny buggers that you can't get full with...But at least we did manage to try them after some time.
Oh and my new set of face brushes? I fell in love with them and i play with them a lot. Had to slow down because i wanted to let my face rest a little while i practice on the lining on my eyes just in case i need to rush some where and need a simple one done. Other than that, i also just realized that i need either strong or weak (okay fine milder or less) make up to give my face the strength. Bright and strong colors pops my eyes and brighten up more than usual compared to really light and soft colors which include pink... No wonder i can never have pink on my face even my lips! Crapness...! Oh and check out what i did to my nails weeks ago when i had to trim them!
Nothing great actually happened these days. Only my insane list of not assignments, but my jobs! I'm running two jobs now and having fun with them both by ending up with sore throat at first then had nice cough and cold towards the end (like now). And more interesting is that i didn't touch any medication for like the past week. Good or bad? But it's not getting any worse though. Everyone was kidding around saying that it's H1N1 and stuff but, i'd be dead by now if i had it. Come to think of it, i wonder if people really do remember me if i just suddenly leave. Would they still love me? Obviously live on. I would to. I mean, how can someone stop along the way just because of one person. Yet i cannot stand to think of my love ones leaving me. I'd kill them if they leave me. Or anyone who tries to harm them.
No wonder they call me mother-hen or motherly! Suits my chinese characters though (nurture) =/
Night bloggie. It's not night YET but yo'd need your nap right? Take care and i'll pop in soon enough!
I'm Diana, the one who doodles too much - just about anything. If not found in my room whipping up a DIY project or recipe, I'm probably winding down catching up on some video or computer games. I'm one heck of an avid naturalist and will always be on a hunt for great ideas and recipes that are nature loving.
