Do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do

Dear bloggie,

Only because I felt like singing.

A couple'a moments ago, I just found out an old post which I didn't manage to publish in July that I wasn't oomph-ed at work, coz I was getting bored of it - repetitive what not. NOW, I think I'm about to murder my boss, every way I can. Oh, not to mention my team mates.

I've pondered about it and thought, "Am I really such a bad employee?". Every blinking email reply is sandwiched with the juiciest negative remark in any form; it's either "you don't read emails", "you obviously missed the deadline", "since you're not efficient enough, I'll take over", "again, I repeat" or "I don't ____ for an answer". And again, I wonder - who's the one who isn't able to manage his team? 

Look, we've (fucking team mates as asses from planet dumb-a-tron) done the same mistakes over time and repeatedly, there's obviously something wrong. Why? If I knew, I wouldn't be sitting here now. I'll be at the Empire State making cocktails singing "do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do". So, 

1. We don't get meetings (oh we sure do once every 3 months), 
2. I don't know what exactly went wrong with my assignments,
3. My suggestions are usually foggy and somehow disappears within an email or two,
4. We don't have an update AFTER the meeting with your boss and;
5. Obviously we don't even know exactly what we're supposed to do (because I can suddenly be involved or be held responsible for the things I never was!).

How fucked can we get, eh? I love my job, seriously, jokes all aside. I love what I write (copy writing), uploading, updating whatnots, liaising with the media (occasionally), dancing from state to state to do my utter awesome social work (company, of course) and newsletters. I take that back. Not the quarterly newsletters. You don't know how painful the agony just coming up with one issue. And this time around, the due is within a week - guess what? My (stupid ass) team mate and I just got a mail not too long ago with a warning, here I indirectly quote, "Your participation is encouraged, however if your assigned task is not completed at all, you won't be joining". Means I don't get to go to the awesomest party ever in November. In also other words, I'm on leave and flying to Timbaktu. Honestly, my answer would've been "the fuck I care. Come at me bro". For all with guts, please raise your hands - no.

Boss, I'm sick of your fun and games, making me all demotivated and shit when you say you don't. I am so sick, I am so tempted to walk out here right now. I'm not doing it because of me, not you. I kinda miss my old boss who gave a shit about my progress no matter how much I have done and almost died from it, at least I lost weight. I can bet you with an eye or two that I've not gained any experience from my recent escapade from work, in fact everything just got worse! To think that a new boss would've oiled the gears in my work life, I beg to differ.

Am I at work now? Yea, sure am. In fact, I've got a tonne of stuff to complete by today and I'm busy typing out a storm on my blog. I'm tired and sick. I wanna get out of HERE.

Bloggie, there hasn't been anything fancy in the last month or so. Hence it was a full frontline machine gun massacre for today and I'll only post another rosy update sometime soon. Maybe one of our event which I've attended? Maybe.

Anyway, I love you lots bloggie. To the grave we go when the time comes; but I've got unfinished business tonight. 

It'll pass

Dear bloggie,

It's like every usual Saturday I'm at work again... It's getting more frequent if you ask me. Last week, it was a Sunday afternoon - thinking that correcting and aligning the newsletter would've just lasted for about a couple a hours; except that it waws multiplied by about two to three times?

I have, for the first time made the biggest mistake in my life. We're not talking about small step mistakes (maybe it was but hey, mistakes should always be corrected, right?), cause this was pretty major. Thankfully, I have my gut-witted (the fuck's this word?) super emotional self to bring up the topic with him and kinda talked about it. It was no surprise that we picked it up immediately and quickly let go of me; honestly, it was so quick, it happened within hours. Again, I am never, ever, going to touch the tip of the flame anymore.

My job these days are burning out... I think my boss isn't pressuring me enough. I love my job, but I'm somewhat loosening up from inside and I can't afford to let that happen. It's all so repetitive and boring and it's always the same old stuff which I keep missing - is it my fault, or someone elses or everyones? Anyhow if it must happen, please let it pass.

Mum's not getting any better since end last year after taking the "supposed-to-be-better-experimental-medications". Id that isn't any worse, she's getting weaker and she's losing faith in recovering as much as anyone in the house is - except my sister. I can't really blame her can I? She keeps smacking me in the head reminding me about "why are you so negative?", which makes perfect sense. Of course no one wants to let go of someone worthy enough to love. But everyday, we ask ourselves, how long will she take it and how long before we try to let her go in peace? The day will come when it comes - then again, let's not have a tidal wave.

I hope I wake up tomorrow and see more than just the day light or sun.

I think I'm going home in a bit. Gotta clear up this pile'a mess first because big momma comes back to the office on Monday!

See ya bloggie! Fingers crossed for a better tomorrow, but it should be better than today, right?



Posted: 28/7/12