Incorporatedly Unmotivated

Dear bloggie,

Been an up and down weekday but hey what more can we ask for since i'm just plain dolled out. Haha.. Anyway, life here's been on on both good and bad ends.

Congratulations to myself, i'm not a proud intern under the Corporate Communication Dept. at -Probably the best beer- Company! The interview i went to yesterday was great. Here's a good full description of what actually happened:-

The worse thing that happened before my interview - BOTH sides of my peep toes crocodiled from the back! I was walking outta the house to the gate and to the car and it gave up on me. I'd understand as well since they're one of my favvy pairs and peeps do look nice on me plus most peeps are cod. So the gave up on my before (THANK GOD BEFORE. I can't imagine how it's gonna be like when it croced when i'm at the guard hse!) the interview.

Arrival at the factory and office was about 7am (on the dot) since dad sent me and dropped pris along the way, at the guard house. As early as that, i had to register and so and so and so and went to the canteen for a cup of coffee. The canteen was white and classy. VERY classy. Best thing in line was the pub and that'll come after what happened in the canteen for about what, 2 hours? Haha.. Anyway back to the canteen story - Being a banana and unexpected one too, the canteen lady's first question was in mandarin and good for me i could answer a few of her questions based on what i understand and just tembak only la what ever i can! Wonderfully, i sat comfortably in the air condition small place with nothing much to do but going through my organizer. Interesting fact was that at 7am, the lorry drivers are all over for breakfast and not being a racist but, they were all indian! Thinking that it's a beer company anyway, i'm not extremely surprised... Only just to see how true it was =P All the big green trailers and lorries! and Trucks! Gosh!

The first person i met was Regina who's in the HR too. Friendly lady who told me i was "gonna be alright" because i was "charismatic". Great start for the morning though~ Then as it came to 7.30am and i was still stuck there (even the drivers and production people were already leaving for their work) BUT came along other staff from the accs. and the etcetcs for breakfast. MANY of them actually thought that i came for another interview for some quality something something position thingy regina was saying in the morning. I was thinking to myself, "Do i look matured and old enough to hold such a position...? What job is that anyway?".

By 8am, and this, the best part is the pub. It starts its operation at 8am... I did some own touring at the pub on my way to the ladies =3 it was gold, black and green... I think i found my new favorite color! Haha! Suppose it's opened that early for visitors.

Oyster's Jewel came at roughly at 9am - the interview time. She's a tall slim lady (as tall as i am after i have my 4/5 inch heels....), very fair and good thing that she feels comfortable with me. She mentioned that she hasn't accepted any interns for the past 5 years because of how unmotivated they were at work and that they only came to work for one purpose - filling in the credit hours. She added that because of the sample work (assignments) she read from my email i sent, she believes that i'd be fine with what i do and is so far confident that i am capable to do more copy writing work... And therefore, i have homework starting from this week onwards - a compilation job based on the pile new letters from 2009 to 2010 and two annual report books. I'm just so surprised that i ACTUALLY have homework to do even before i enter my job! Adding on, i have yet to receive more than just that. During the interview session, she told me a list of 4 major items she needed me to help. More compilation, writing and editing. For some reason, i have to say, it's a great experience in the coming and i totally look forward to what i have to do. At the same time... I feel anxious, nervous and worried about my capability. I have never been a person to take risks, what more being in a different environment where i'm working in a CORPORATE dept unlike the ones i've gone through with my lecturers in college; or working in college. Those were all petty small stuff. THIS is where you meet the big shots! Now, i wonder if any of my work in the end will meet the pages of the papers, magazines or reports... I don't really know what else to think but i do know very strongly that i need to buck up and chin up. All the best Dollie!~ At the same time, i gotta remember that she's a real organized person to be able to settle what i've gotta be doing weeks before i even start work. That's good. As a person who can't sit still and who demands for more work flow at work, this is good~

That's just the beginning of yesterday though =/ the rest of the day, i ended up in bed trying to feel better since i had not a massive headache, but a disturbing one. Gave a little time for rest and then got up to make dinner, and once done after eating, went to work.

I think the kids on Thurs seem to not fancy me anymore from that light tell-offs about throwing their toys. Oh whatever. If i don't give them my mind, i'll get more minding from parents. Hm.

In the night after work, things started on the smooth and it pretty much snowballed to the rougher side... My plan for going out for some drinks and supper with the 4 of us obviously failed because of some family feud thingy happening on one, no wait, two, no wait, three sides of the family. So, it was canceled, but the volunteering could possibly go on. Just to wait and see how's he doing and if the headache gets worse, we'll put that to a hold. Not like the shelter home'll run away anyway =P No doubt i was upset about the whole night talk thing. Wished it could be better. Was chatting with a few but got no replies whatsoever as usual. Oh well. You get slapped means you GET slapped. I should start to forget to reply people more often though =/ Am i the only one who gives replies all the time? O_o Nah.

It's a boring friday afternoon/morning now. Didn't even get up earlier to do my walk like i used to. Un-motivated-ly annoyed. Though, i had thought to start working on my eye do's again. How can i not miss them. Just can't seem to move my heavy-nailed-down-onto-the-seat ass off! What colors suppose? I had these in mind: green, gold; purple smokey; blue, green; WILL GOLD BLUE BE NICE?? THAT i should try!

Well that should be it from me about yesterday, and the past few's but a better day'll be waiting for me~ I hope >_> G'night bloggie~ I'll miss you and hope you're doing great there! Sweet dreams and yea i did dream about you in the weirdest manner! Haha.. Take care, bye bye~ <3

Love bug in anticipation

Dear bloggie,

It's been pretty quite from lately... We did chat again. Things are better off now. At least we know where we stand and anticipating the future more than before. Thanks. And i'm sorry about the way i've been acting. But i do hope we get back together much better thought it takes way more effort than i ever have in my life... First time is always a good start!

Recently, i've been a little hard working on the fact of trying to loose the kg's. Up for walks in the morning, cleaning up the house more often and i hope that all helps actually~ In one way, i do feel healthier and better off that way so much so that i'm a morning person, it feels great to be up real early to get things done. Especially when i'm anticipating more than just one thing now. Well from the last list of To Do's, I only managed out a few. I better start moving a little faster though =P


Anticipation list ~

Home
Parcel
Photoshoot
Intern (nervous at the same time...)
Parent Day
New cousin AND nephew
Stay over
Volunteer
MV window shop
Start of work pretty soon...
More parcels (hard earned to spend =3)


Whoa. At first, i honestly did think that there were only a few i had in mind... But turn out that there're a whole load there in the end! Oh well. All i really pray for now, is to look forward to them, can't be expecting much but fingers crossed and all hoped for the best! Like what i was told, best of success in stead of the regular good luck.

Oh yea. H.O.G. Megan was just a darling last sunday. She didn't expect me to be at the center and boy were they excited that i turned up! It was just so cute when in between lines she had something like this said,

"I haven't got to Ikano though,"

"Oh really?"

"Yea.. I DID ask mum to bring me!"

"Nah it's ok... Petster's still there right? (the pet magazine)"

"Yea but..."

"Mmhm. No worried ^_^"

"I miss you"

"?"

"What's this anyway?"

"Sorry i didn't hear what you said just now..."

"OH,"

"What'd you say?"

"I miss you *whispers*"

"AWWW *hugs*"

">////<"

"I MISS YOU TOO! REALLY! *HUGS*"

"^///^"

"you're so cute... I really do miss you okay? *hugs*"

Haha.. What else can you ask when there's a kid who's always by your side who says they miss you ^_^ Macy does miss me too. Well at least she didn't ask me what all the time now... BUT, she's proud to tell Fiona her name's 'I dunno'.

"What's your name sweetie?"

"I dunno *giggles*"

"^_^''' How old are you?"

"I dunno *giggles and squirms*"

"LOL! So your name's 'I dunno' now?"

"I dunno! *runs away*"

So fiona had to go for her class to teach and Macy runs around with me in the office now.

"So Macy, i'll call you 'I dunno'?"

"Uh... *thinks* My name's Macy"

Okay.. So at least i know that she DOES want me to call her lovely name - Macy instead of 'I dunno'. Oh you darling <3

I was thinking to myself lately how nxious i've been and you sure do make me very very patient, unlike how i am. It's so different. But i'm just extremely glad to the point i can't express them in words, you are willing to accept, say sorry and talk to me. You really are different. I should never compare you with anyone else i know really. Oh my god i love you so much. I hope my bubble doesn't pop thats all. How my heart crave for your love even more although you never do reply much anymore... To close my eyes and feel that you're actually so close to me though you live much further... I miss you so much... Haven't even heard your voice for so long now i hope i don't forget how it's like! Lets be together again my love, please accept me again.


Night bloggie, love you lots~ Miss you even more and God bless! =D

Dew on a leaf

Dear bloggie,

I've always blamed myself for being impatient, but i've been living with it for more than 2 decades. Beats me if it was a reason to hate me even more.

Not too long ago i tried to call you. You didn't want to pick it up. You have your reasons, can't say nothing right?

Not too long ago i texted you hoping you read it, and reply. You didn't reply. Ran out of credit? I do too.

Not too long ago i left long msges on your 'offline' and 'away' instant messenger anticipating your write backs which could be as long. Nothing came back to me, the internet can be a pain to accidentally remove them all.

Not too long ago i complaint a lot about your disappearance for your reasons. There were reasons i couldn't understand.

Not too long ago i cried every time before bed waiting to hear from you; even it weren't tears from my eyes, they were in my heart.

Now, i still wonder why nothing is really happening like it used to. The more i pushed it away from me, it came back in storm to me. I tried too hard. I'm sorry i did so. I feel alone, i am alone. In need of company, i work harder to earn back your love but made things worse.

No more comfort words. No more deep conversations. No more care. What have i done wrong? I didn't mean it. I just miss you. A little too much. I wish you're still around. I'm just sorry.

I wish i knew.

Skip that Beat

Dear bloggie,

I'm so unwell these days. Funny thing is that, i'm on FB and am online~

Amazingly coincident, i have been sick and unwell for the past 3 weekends! Something is very wrong when i have to get something down on Fri's then end up like this on Sats and Suns! I'm suppose to be at the seminar now at MMHA and here i am typing this essay of nothings. I feel really bad to my friends for not being to attend it for the past two Sun's... Not sure why, i just feel bad. I mean, how sick can you get? Oh very; thanks to my meal i decided to make with Garlic Spread that died on the 20/12/09 on Fri afternoon. Dead worried about the finals for the coming 3 days, i hope i can get this pain done with and be alright by then.

My body has been acting up and definitely not at peace. Worse off, i can't sleep. Usually when i nap in the evenings for about an hour or two, true enough, it'll take forever for me to sleep in the night. But even skipping the naps in the evening apparently doesn't help at all now. I dunno why~ Mum said i'm thinking too much. Maybe? Mum also said that my brain's pretty active now. Maybe? The good time to say, "i wanna rest in peace", probably sleep in peace though!

Finals is next week. This coming week. My last sem along the way. The Hospital sucks to the max my friend. At least i called~ Next call, the factory! Miss Oyster's Jewel , here i come.



This Holiday, I MUST...



- clear wardrobe & stash old unwearables away
-> pj's?

- clean up the hse (for God's sake)
-> kit. winds, floors, comforts

- backup files from UP pc then...
-> REFORMAT!
-> dl Picasa since DOWN has CS already

- file college notes
-> psych's
-> comm's
-> elects'

- go for a massage. Better yet, invest on a SPA vacation
-> manicure & pedicure

- rest & relax on a VACATION or two
-> Teluk Nipah
-> Hill top

- stay over at Red's :-
-> movie marathon
-> SWIM (& learn)
-> SEGA forever

- send gifts a.s.a.p. to Mum
-> 2, 4, 1

- spa wash for wigs (kesian them ok)


Lost? So am i. Join me in skipping the Beat.

I've really gotta go now. Haven't read anything much at all for my exams and i'm here blogging. Woohoo~ Night bloggie~ I love you loads loads and loads! Take care and i'll be updating soon...

Miles by distance, inches by thoughts

Dear bloggie,

Times are getting harder as it is.

I want this, i need that, i must take it, i should have those, believe it'll come in handy.

Thanks to the timetable the following sem, the subjects offered are either not related to what i'm studying OR i've taken them in my past sems before this (as expected AND as notified early from Black Mamba months back - very accurate!). And also thanks to the timetable this coming sem, my intern which i have planned to do after my last three subjects has to be pushed forward. In other words, i have to quit H.O.G. to concentrate fully on the intern months - short sem 2/3 months; long sem 4/5 months. In other words, i have no income coming in since i quit the other. In other words, i have to cut down on spending. In other words, i have to cut down on going out with my buds and relatively, people who usually don't pay for me when we're out... In other words, i can't buy anything from my wish-list i planned months ago from next month onwards!

I have two places of workplace choice - A. Hospital, B. Factory office. My answer? BOTH. Not at once! Separately since i have two majors~ I like my choices. But how available they are is another question... I really really really will miss H.O.G. so much and it's such a pain to know that i won't be seeing the kids much anymore... Macy, Megan; Tricia, Kristy, Jia Ze, Zhen, Ern; Sonia, Serena; Yi Chen; Sonya; Alia; Damien's sister (she can't really walk yet, no she hasn't joined H.O.G.); Claudia; Brandon, Brian; Brandon, Bryan; Ivan; Nigel, Nelson; and the a whole LOT more.

After working with them for just a couple'a months, i really feel as a part of their family already. Being there to watch over the smalls and bigs, washing their cups and jug, cleaning up the place of needed, keeping the toys, putting the books in order, talking to the parents, sending the kids down, reminding them to stay away and out, and the typical:

"What are you doing?"

"I"m busy here hold on aight"

"What are you doing?"

"Sending everyone down hold on"

"Why do you do that?"

"Because i can't let them run down just like that"

"*Stares blankly waiting for another answer from - why*"

"*sigh* because it's my job sweetie..."

"Oh! *runs off*"

"... *rolls eyes*"

OR

"He hit me!"

"Okay okay! No need to hit back!"

"But it hurt and he hit me!"

"You're a good boy and you don't hit back. Good boys like you don't hit your brothers back"

"*pout* ..."

"I know it hurts darling but you know how if feels doesn't you? There's no need to hit back. If he hits you again, tell me alright? You're a good boy!"

"*nods* mm"

OR

"Why do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"That"

"THAT?"

"Yea THAT"

"Because i have to...?"

"Oh. Why?"

"Or everyone's gonna be running down"

"Who?"

"You duh"

"Me?"

"Yes YOU"

"But i'm not gonna run down"

"I see"

"What are you doing?"

"My job"

"What job?"

"THIS"

"What's that?"

"Oh just, THAT"

"..."

"*raises brows and smiles a little while checking kid's name list and receipt codes*"

"..."

"*still working on it*"

"I think i'm gonna go out"

"Oh alright"

"*GRIN*" -> I never knew i was so irritating towards kids! =DD

OR

Okay there's a little too many to list down since last year! Or just better times like when they love you so much they just run into the office and hug you, talk to you about everything that's happened, bring the Petster pet magazine to share the pets for adoption and suggest pets for you to adopt while waiting for sibling, hold onto your hand when you send the kids outta the centre outta no where, or just anything that drives you up the wall. Literally. UP.

It really is a special place to be. I have never enjoyed my work as much as being around with, something which i've never looked forward to. It really isn't much about the money and pay at the end of the month for me anymore. Truly, it's the company, cuteness, touching moments and spitting-into-the-jug-for-everyone-else issues. It a responsibility as well duh. I enjoyed the whole time i was there (well other than stupid mistake you can never imagine me doing >_>). I love A. Jessy who's taught me so much about life and maturity, A. Sue who's gave me a one in a million chance to work with children (and good pay! =D), Claudy who's helped me along the way and befriended me, A. Andrina and her oh-so-cheeky-nonsense, Maria with her most interesting stories and CHOCOLATES in autumnnnnnn, Fiona who shared pretty much of her experience with me and C.W. class, Reva who i met later in the months of work who is really an amusing lady. And for them all who have tattoos. They ARE teachers. I'm serious. That's the coolest. And most inspiring to me (enough to get me thinking to get one!). This is something i can't give anymore thanks to but to Carlyn who introduced me this job. I don't know how to thank you girl. I prefer the experience than the pay! A hundred times. But since it does come with the pay why not eh? >=3

It's been great knowing you all. And loving you.

That should be all from me tonight. I've gotta get my assignment rushed this time. Tues's the due but its close to no where but touched! G'night bloggie~ Love you so much and even more... Sweet dreams and God bless you loads!

I saw you smiling

Dear bloggie,

Trust me, it's been months seen there was a reason to type something here! Okaynottruejustkidding.

I was down a couple of weeks recently actually. I woke up with a truth i couldn't accept entirely and the world revolved differently from what i thought i'll be looking at. But i gave up and just swallowed it. I found something that made me really happy; then again, anyone would have realized that it also give its opposite - sadness. Oh what the hell, i thought. If i'm gonna have to take it, i'll take it indefinitely.

I was out almost the whole day yesterday thanks to an old friend who knew i wasn't in the best mood and thought it was a better idea to get me outta the house and keep me away from my thoughts. It sure happened!

We went for a movie, two meals, dessert and best part, he had to make sure i didn't spend a cent! That little monkeh. Serious! I felt horrible. I don't like the fact that you have to spend every penny for every stop especially the food. We could'a gone dutch! But, i really do appreciate that he understood that i wasn't working anymore, and by listening to what ever i told him, he knew i had a LONG LONG list of "Want to buy (but doesn't look achievable in the next ten days)". It's been a while since i've gone out for a movie. And good company. Thanks. A LOT. I was happy to breathe again.

- Now to wait for after finals for a good round of drinking! HUMANS. Where is our next stop?? -

It was raining slightly but no lightning nor thunder, sky was gray and dark in the evening about 4pm today. Was at the mall on the way home to wait for Dad as i walked down the steps and saw this elderly man with his grandchild and they were talking to each other. Suppose that small one was only about 3 or 4, but remembering that i work in H.O.G. reminded me of how cute they can really be. With a small smile, i walked pass them with happy thoughts. Minutes after, i was already waiting for Dad at the other side of the bridge hoping he'd be a little earlier today so i can get home and get the nap i wanted since i woke up =P

Unexpectedly, the both of them i saw earlier walked down the bridge with another old lady, who was obviously the elderly man's wife. The three of them was so happy and looking at them enlightened me a lot more when:

the little one said softly, "Open umbrella"

Grandma answered, "Yes i'm opening the umbrella now,"

then he repeated, "Open umbrella"

"Yes i'm opening the umbrella, come, follow grandpa,"

So grandpa told, "Okay now hold onto Grandpa,"

I couldn't help to look at them, to know that they were smiling throughout that little conversation and i HAD to smile as well. It was just too cute a scene to ignore! I smiled at Grandma and i told her "bye".

She answered, "Bye!"

"Take care!"

"Have a nice day" she replied.

And they walked, all three of them with one small dark gray umbrella along the busy road. Wonder if i'll see them again ^_^

All i did was looked up into the sky and smiled with a sigh, a good sigh of course. After all these months, THIS is definitely the most beautiful thing that've happened. True enough, i couldn't help smiling and thinking about what happened in the evening. It was just, speechlessly beautiful.

Now, i'm anticipating the future a little more than usual. Three weeks is a long time true (only works for me =B), but i didn't think it was time to give into anything just yet; including all those good months before this.

What happened the past months then? - You ask. Nothing much. Other than hating my lecturer so much for assignments that couldn't make any better sense. Serious.

That's all from me this few months. I'll be waiting for the coupl'a next ones but i hope it's much earlier than that... Till then, night bloggie! Take care... I miss you so much and i love you even more ^_^

Paint my Masks

Dear bloggie,

The night sure is bored like it always have been.

Unlike usual nights, i have decided to do a small review on the eye masks that i've been getting and trying out =D Firstly, all thanks to Renee at LYN for being such a friendly and approachable seller all these time~ Then the great prices and masks i've been trying out. Moving on to the small review...

THIS is my first ever eye mask i tried - Sea Kelp Brightening Eye Mask. Which seem to be really famous among the girls at LYN who's been hanging around there. I bought about ten of these because Silvy and I had to get a whole bulk (a box of 10) if we wanted it. So 10bucks for 10 eye masks - Why not! Though when applied it was tingly and all, i couldn't really see any improvement from the bags'a my eyes neither the clearer skin color of my dark circles. No doubt, it was a great start and an interesting experience! By the way, it smelt pretty fragrant when i had them =D



The following eye masks i got were four of each. One of them is the 24k Active Gold Eye Mask - With Botanical Essence. Now, how true the botanical essence are... I've gotta do some research on them =3 BUT this really is one of the best eye masks i've tried because immediately when applied, you'll definitely not miss the cool menthol like sensation! Not to mention the "even cooler" part when you're in yer nice air conditioned room~ I love this masks loads and i think in the long run, it should work better since i only managed 4 pairs of this... Already have them in my order list for more <3 Fragrant on this mask is the same as the Bamboo Salt Mask which is a little salty for some reason. But it's not TOO salty. Just a hint of it. Smells pretty pleasant and not strong at all.


Another not bad product is the Bamboo Salt Eye Mask which i didn't manage to take any picture of it because i was too happily using them all up =P But the effects and cool sensations are pretty similar to the 24k eye mask.

Next eye mask is the Crystal Collagen Eye Mask. Honestly at first, i really didn't not fancy this mask thinking that it only works for the bottom part of my eyes. Outta two masks, i've tried 3 already and results, not extremely noticable but it's very comfortable once you get the hang of wearing it a little lower from the bottom lash line. My first mistake was to put exactly at my bottom lash line and that was horribly irritating to the point i couldn't even fall asleep like other masks i've tried! Unlike regular all-over-your-eyes-eye-mask, this mask doesn't give the first "cool sensational" effect but it does after a while. What they really are, are two transparent jelly like patches coated in purified water. The interesting part is also where the expiration and manufacturing date is imprinted on the back of the packet (as zoomed out by me). I suppose i'm gonna get more of these masks from the next batch onwards! Smell? It's a little sweet fragrant but nothing heavy. In fact a little too mild! Anyone who'd prefer masks without much scents, this would be a great choice.


Finally the last eye mask - Milk Brightening Eye Mask. That my sister have been using more than me... Says here, "... Unique materials and pure milk, paired with active spring water..." Suppose it's better than the "i'm not sure what's in it" description~ Similar to the Sea Kelp Eye Mask, this also works pretty much the same. Not much of the tingly sensation, smell's really sweet and not really super milky like i thought it was going to be!



So far, these are the only masks i've been experimenting on. I'd really like to pile up my pockets to try the rest since the point where feedback's from other buyers does help a lot and in addition to the recommendation of the seller, you'd most likely not go wrong.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back to my o-can-be-so-hopeless-life, it's been good recently. Staying home chilling like any student should be doing when they're a fish out of water with a quiz which i have just underestimated the power of emailed notes unlike the ones months and semesters ago... Moral to learn, read the notes either way how simply stupid they sometimes may be.

Been tired lately and also been needing loads of rest and sleep. Recovering from my weeks before? Maybe!

I gotta really go now. It's early but... Oh well. Nights bloggie! Sweet dreams!~ God bless you and love you to the max loads!~ <33