Beautiful Disaster

Dear bloggie,

Been FOREVER hasn't it? Okay maybe not as long as a year but...


Things has been on the rough side recently but my world has been revolving healthily.


The all electronic restrictions are called off,
I get to be with my bestest buddies (who are mostly guys - gay or not is a different story yea...),
There's definitely a night I can drink away with no limit,
Might be working hard till the latest nights but no one's holding me back,
These flabs has a chance to go back here it belongs,
Tears can stay where it should be,
My heart doesn't need to bleed any further,


And most of all, I get to taste how promising is like and how easy someone whom you believe can give you happiness is not always the same person who is your life. It was an eye opening experience which was not the easy way. But I am very confident that this time around, I'm not the same Doll whom I was, and I don't plan to stay old and broken.


You're beautiful - a beautiful disaster.


Anyway, life has taught me a little of everything such as keeping in touch with people whom I've always thought "are busy and not disturb them" might not be as "busy" as they sound or might have seem to be. Often a time, we restarin ourselves from everything that's in the bigger picture but are worried about how it'll be; that's me. I give up on trying hard. The one thing I learnt from you - it'll happen when it should and it's yours if it is. Not the fanciest ways no doubt.


"You don't need friends, alone is always better"
I've been in contact with my oldest of the oldest friends and boy am I glad I've called every dong from every nook and cranny! They've really helpful in my downest days. A college friend'a mine whom I was invited out with is close to lunacy; he's so out of this planet, I just found out he's married. How cool is that? And the wedding bells rang in June. Hello - I've been in contact with you for the past months! Could you've been nicer to even tell this good news? Some friend! Then again, it was good dinner, good company and most of all, a good laugh.

"Why should you be sexy for everyone else? It's so sluttish"
My sexy pin-up look is the best of me. Dita Von Teese is my idol. If I could wear corsets everyday and not worry about running about, moving around, I'd do it. Up to date, I've got a generous amount which I SHALL wear them to events. Except my annual dinner this year which has the WORST dress code ever. And about that, I really gotta get another corset lace...

"Technology is the worst thing invented on earth"
Good Lord, Holy macarony I tell you. Twitter would've won the "Best Ranting Website" in the galaxy. Reasoning? No one else would listen. I mean, look, who on the face of Earth wants to listen to sob stories, ridiculous rants and cranky complains? Once it's done, the world seem to be the best place to live so what's the problem with technology? I, for one, love it!~

"You can't dance. There'll be guys who'll partner with you"
All I've ever been good at was dancing but mum and dad didn't approve that; not until they realized how wonderfully talented my hips could shimmy. I did think it'll be good to stay away from male partners in dancing but belly dancing is a no-no? You're kidding me. The biggest excuse would've made sense if it was said nicely. But... So, I don't aim to do it just yet. I'm sitting here waiting for the OLDEST buddy I've kept in touch with since since to learn and now, I'm so excited I can hardly breathe. Hesitant - yes. Reluctant - no. I hope I can catch up quick!

Somedays, I wished I stayed asleep my whole life because the dreams all seemed sweeter no matter what happens because when I flip my eyelids open, reality comes crashing back into me. Honestly, I was desperate to lose myself as much as I could. Not every day is a perfect fairy tale especially in mine. I've come to a point where, life is too pointlessly short to stay solemn. My only worry is my distrubed routines and a new path to change. Or like Krazy Ken, "All we have been leaving behind are dotted lines. Sometimes we've gotta move back and draw the line from where we were" and it made sense. BUT, I learnt that it WASN'T his phrase! It was Steve Jobs! That Esso. Whatever they both said, it made sense.

How ever fucked up my dreams were because of you, at least I woke up from it.

G'day bloggie. Hasn't been the happiest moments that happen yet again. But, I'm happy inside. Love you so much bloggie! I'll definitely have something more exciting in life after last Wednesday. Take good care'a yerself there no matter what~ Bye!~~