Dear bloggie,
It feels like forever since i've been sailing single forever. Fact is, it's only one month. Rough sailing i'd say; the waves just hit me again. Maybe it was the emotion wave? Wonders. But like my msn display name, "the moving on to a thousand miles starts with the first slap", then again, i've had so many slaps and i'm still at square one! Oh what the never mind.
Classes started a week ago and this time around, all classes starts at 8.30am BECAUSE they have full time lecturers in slots of up to 6.30pm. Waking up's have never been as dull as this... Especially when i'm that kinda student who's not willing to spend money on lunch at the cafeteria when she can wake up at 6am to cook lunch. Not fun. Really. Before this, i'd usually wake up at about 7am. Kills the joy of sleeping in late and getting out early. But the bright side is that i only have two morning classes on Mondays - Ab Psych & Comm and Media Ethics and Thursdays - Movies & Stats. On Tuesdays - Research Methods. Wonderfully, i just got my results yesterday and the turn outs? Better than expected!~ I was dead worried for my Counseling Techs. *flashback* I wouldn't have been if i didn't get all emotionally abused thinking about what was going to happen and wasn't supported but got shot in my head instead; not realizing that i was studying for my paper that night and i was struggling to even try to remember what i was glancing - not even reading. Sad, but true yet painful. Result? C. I'm more happy than happy. I was expecting a fail for some reason. I know very well it'd kill me in the end if i saw a red mark on the slip. Moral to learn, keep yourself up on your own at all times. Warning, depression comes and goes without expectations like farting!
"Am i like, the cause of all the trouble when i move from one department to another?" I was at the Mkting down at the G. I was up at the RC and now i'm stuck at 5th with my boss. No one really likes me at work i guess. Thinking about it, I can never really stick to a job permanently now can i? What a pity to myself. I love the job so much but because of an egoistic HOD who takes credit to all that i do and now i'm a hopping bunny once again. Hopping around the building once again. Mum told me, i'm too aggressive. Possibly. I don't know. I can't really stand anyone who i don't respect anymore. It's just automatic for me to act bluntly towards that person. I hope i stop moving eventually. Anywhere for the matter. At least i'm enjoying what i do now even if i don't have the internet NOR computer access but i still have my handy college phone around~
I'm missing you too darn much actually. It's painful when you're not around when i really do wanna talk to you... Things i'd share and i'd listen to. I'm not even sure if i was doing a mistake or not ever since you've stopped talking, much. I miss your company and your love. If i only knew what went wrong and i'd try to change it. I don't wanna force you either because i know it'll kill both of us to just try to help, when we try too hard. No, i don't wanna pressure you even more because i do care for you and you're so much to me; you just don't know that. I hope you're doing better there and not thinking too much... Sometimes, i thinking about you pretty often and how you're going but it still hurts because i don't know what went wrong. I just hope one day, we'll see each other again. Like we used to. You really are something special - to me.
Hanging out alone in college is a repeat of history for me like in my first semester. Friends? Why not? Point is, we're all so close to graduating and finishing up our studies that we don't get much opportunities to meet up anymore. The dinner last Saturday was interesting though. Thanks for dessert. Thanks for the company. You shouldn't have come when you knew you were close to blacking out honey. We don't want a friend to suddenly collapse so do take care of your health.
"Adik, kalo ko laki, *points at her nose* mmg handsome tau! I mmg suke laki yg idung muncung", said a plump small lady with slightly heavy liners and makeup that brightened her pale face. She complaint about how cold it was and i was burning my ass off inside my jacket.
*blushes* "Tapi kan kak, i takder abang ke adik la... Sorry ye"
"Eh! Tade la! I tgh cakap you la!"
And so if i were a boy, I bought a tube of liquid eyeliner that turn out expired when i was about to rip off the wrapper. Took it to change and was stuck at the store just trying to figure out what i would get in return of 9.90. In the end, she told me, "I rase kan, ader stock baru la untuk eyeliner nie dik. Tunggu la kejap,". Waited for at least 20mins to realize that they're just doing stock check. I was really nice to them (girls at the store), told them why i'm not interested with everything else at the shop because i either have them or i'm just not interested to get anything else. That little lady kept following me around to suggest what i should get for 9.90. I guess she finds me friendly. They all finds me nice and friendly! I don't only know many ppl at college but even in the mall; that's just great isn't it?
"Kak, boleh tak kalo i datang ari khamis nie? I dah kene balik la. Ayah aku dah nak datang ambik i dah nie. Boleh la eh kak?"
"Khamis eh? Bawak resit to la cukup. Boleh la," she smiled.
Finally! I left the shop! Staying there for almost 30mins to an hour... Just looking around to find a replacement for the 9.90 and end up waiting for the new stock to come in to get back the same thing. How amusing!
My next mission is to walk up to Comm Links to return this small book of hers. Sales people and promoters hogs the area at the concourse and one approached me. "Hey. Do you remember me?", asked a chinese guy with slightly deep voice about half a head taller than me wearing a stripped black and white shirt, all formal. Clean cut with acne scars on his face but with a smile that seem to clear everything off.
"No. I'm so sorry but, i really don't," i smiled back hopefully i didn't offend him by not getting the bell rung when he asked he if i did remember him.
"Vincent. I"m Vincent," his smile was way wider than before.
"OH! Gosh! Oh my god! You're Vincent! Now i remember!" guess the bell came ringing in my head instead.
He sure did changed a lot. More good looking actually~ And a lot taller compared to the last time i met him; years ago when it was 5 years back in that big tuition room of only about 10 students for maths class above that chinese coffee shop. Of course i remember Vincent Chan. I used to have a crush on him! But, haha... I never imagined how i'd bump into him again. Being me, i asked for his number before he could and took down his email add that he's never changed since since. I have a strong feeling, he liked me as much as i did the last time. Oh well. The small world this is. We chat for a little at the stall he was at, 'Pusat Bahasa Titian Jaya (Klang). Since it is me, i wonder if i should just ask him out for lunch on friday since i'll be working the whole day. He'll be leaving to Australia for engineering end of this year, or after Chinese New Year. Hopes me accepts my request in fb. And msn, again.
Had some teary eyes last night. Once a month! Hate it~ Had an aussie friend on the phone with me and shared what i was like and my history was like. Didn't pretty help because he had some affection towards me and now that i'm sharing a part of me to him, he's gonna let it grow i can tell. Should it be bad or good? I'll let time do the ticking and let continue what i should. Canadian guy? He's the sugar him. Sweet as can be like the cakes he bake and savory like the food he cooks.
Don't you dare think that i don't know how i feel now and i don't care about you. Yes the one that's reading this and requested for an update. I'll slap you when i see you.
That should be it for now. Maybe if my cam batteries are doing good, i might post up a picture or two. Wanted to do it for so long and just can't get the right time to do it. Time management baby. Time management.
Take care bloggie. I'll be around to keep you up and about.
